Kale Like a Mofo, a Vegan Dish

I was sitting with my roommate from Tennessee in our kitchen one morning, he in his blue and green, plaid bathrobe and slippers fixing a cup of french press coffee and I making my way through a bowl of For Dad, Oatmeal, as I heard him use the words “kale” and “mofo” in the same sentence. The tone of his voice was a mixture of passion, pride, persuasion, and certitude as he said to me, “O, I ate kale like a mofo,” with enlarged eyes while describing the wonders of Portland’s finest vegetarian and vegan establishments he was able to experience. Like a beautiful photograph, one in which lighting, angle, and subject all come together, so too can one encapsulate beauty in 7 words. Since that moment, I have fully given my heart to this delicious, inexpensive, super food. By the time your eyes alight on the period at the end of this sentence, I hope those seven words will have left an impression where only your strongest convictions lie.

Kale Like a Mofo, a Vegan Dish 

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Prep time: 15 minutes

Cook time: 35-40 minutes

Ingredients

  • Kale
  • Large, raw carrots
  • Zucchini
  • Onion
  • Garlic
  • Olive oil
  • Salt and pepper
  • Basil
  • Couscous

Directions

  1. Bring 2.5 cups of water, 1/4 t salt, and a little bit of olive oil to a boil and add 1 cup of couscous. Reduce heat to a simmer and cover with lid, letting cook until all the water is absorbed (30-35 minutes).
  2. Rinse, and remove kale leaves from stem. Steam until cooked. Volume of kale will reduce to roughly 1/2 its original size from steaming. The ratio of kale and sauteed vegetables to couscous will be 1:1.
  3. Saute 1/2 cup of diced onions, sliced carrots and zucchini, and 1 clove of minced garlic in olive oil on medium heat until carrot slices are cooked (roughly 20 min). If oil begins to burn before the vegetables are fully cooked, add a little bit of water to pan or more olive oil.
  4. While vegetables are cooking, season with salt, pepper, and basil to taste.
  5. Plate a helping of couscous and cover with sauteed vegetables and top with kale. Add salt and pepper to kale if desired. Soy sauce is also good.

As you can see, the recipe is quite simple, involving only steamed kale, sauteed vegetables, couscous and a bit of seasoning. Its flexibility will allow you to use whatever vegetables you may have on hand. Experiment with other forms of seasoning as you like (curry powder, cumin, cayenne pepper, garlic seasoning, etc.).

Kale Like a Mofo Burritos

Only have 40 minutes to eat? Wrap it up in a tortilla shell!

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